Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of leaders and top performers discuss how your thoughts create your reality. You hear it in other incantations as well. The energy and thoughts you put out there come back to you, etc.
I’ve developed an unequivocal belief that this is true.
One of my personal breakthroughs for solidifying this belief stems from a series of college experiences. You’re sharing a beer with friends. Someone tells a story about a recent poor experience with a guy or girl. Then everyone talks about how, yeah, what a terrible encounter that was. What a weirdo that person was. In order to support our friend, we gang up on that other person.
It took me years to realize much damage this type of conversation inflicted on ourselves. Because the next time I approached a girl, I was worried about turning into her next horror story. I automatically assumed she was going to engage in the same negative storytelling at my expense.
So rather than focus on this opportunity to meet someone new or to take pride in improving my ability to meet new people, I focused on the negative side of it. The worry. What a bummer.
I noticed the other side of this during my daily gratitude journaling. When I focused on the good things that happened each day, I got better at noticing them. I noticed more and more things, finer and finer things. My life filled with more and more positive moments.
For these reasons, I try to be mindful about how I talk about other people and situations. Even if it was a negative experience, there are constructive ways to discuss it. And now I see how the way I discuss it will have implications on my future experiences as well.