A Strange Reason To Feel Shame

I awoke at 10:21am today.

Between my first spinning class (whose title included “Extreme”) in years and pizza night out with Burbo, the big guy needed to sleep in.

I’m glad I slept in. More importantly, I’m glad I feel glad.

It’s taken a long time to come to terms with the flexibility of my working situation. I’ve spent many weekday mornings sleeping in or hanging with people I like. Until fairly recently, those mornings were followed by afternoons of guilt or shame. Unbelievably, the morning felt underutilized because it didn’t include hours of work.

Feeling like a lesser member of society is an odd way to emerge from such an optimal situation.

I’d feel that vibe from others, too. Almost everyone expresses desire for flexibility in their schedule or location. Yet, when offering stories that reveal I have that, I typically receive resentment or some manufactured superiority. Oh, you got up at 10am today? Wow… Given the desires, you’d expect to receive happiness or at least intrigue more often than actually occurs.

So for a long time I’ve battled internal and external forces to achieve true appreciation for what I have. I think I’ve finally done it. Feels pretty good.

(I think that’s a nice way to kick off this blog.)

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